Kezia on Opening

I’d like to take a look at the actual importance of an opening; the question being: is it the most important part of pick up or is the least?
I believe the latter statement is correct, but I also accept that in some situations the “opener” can be more of a major factor than in other circumstances and situations.
However, I stick by my opinion that it is never beneficial when you are putting too much energy and emphasis into a fix planned routine, or getting hung up too much on that killer opener.
There’s nothing wrong with a novice having a planned routine just so he can get used to the feeling of approach, and destroying that fear of opening up a complete stranger. But after the dread of the opening has gone, its best to move away from the planned routines pretty quickly, and begin to work on progressing your game, this is where natural game comes in. A fixed routine, can after a while, become yet another comfort zone that has replaced the old one…this is why it is important to move onto your own stuff as quickly as possible.

Here Is My Take On The Approach…
I teach my students to experiment with as many different openers a possible, from the dull and mundane situational observations to the extreme and ridiculous statements.
What is vital is not so much the content of the opening but more the frame of mind before the approach, and of course the…

I want to discuss this part of game in greater detail in my next article, because now I want to keep on discussing the frame of mind and the actual openings and openers that I teach and find my students successfully using..
But briefly what I mean when I say “reaction to responses,” is that no matter how fantastic and wonderful the opener you gave your target was- it can be totally pointless if it is not taken to the next level. It’s like having an amazing intro to a song, (imagine your particular favourite intro) so here it is building and building to that crescendo and then being suddenly followed up by a lullaby, what a major disappointment! This happens all too often when too much emphasis is put on to a brilliant opener or routine and not enough work or emphasis has been put into learning the science behind attraction and why these routines actually work, learn that and you‘ll master the game..
Saying that, there are always exceptions to the rules. For example the circumstances and the energy or mood of the target must always be taken in to account.
If for instance, she is casually strolling, and taking in the sunshine at her leisure then she is more likely to stop and listen to what you have to say than one who is walking forcefully down a crowded road with a look of bother on her face. Therefore to stop the latter in her tracks and distract her from where she is intending to get to, one has to make sure the opener is a little more or a lot more (choice is yours) than a gentle “hey” Even so, the response/reaction to her response/reaction is still in my opinion more vital to master than concentrating on the initial setup.

Your Frame Of Mind In Pre-Approach
No matter what you’ve got up your sleeve, your frame of mind must always remain high status and positive. Regardless of situation and target, this is vital to successfully opening and closing a set.
I tell all my students to write out a list of what they require in their ideal woman, not physically. For instance is she funny? Political? A smoker? Drinker? Is she sensitive? Does he like woman who can laugh at them selves? Does he like woman who has a interest in current affairs? What puts him off? Someone who is vulgar? Ignorant?
In other words, BE PICKY! Be picky as much as us girls are! He will find himself going in to the approach automatically with a tick box, does she fit the criteria? Is she good enough for me? Not am I good enough for her? Shake things up a bit!
Also this will make him much less outcome dependent, and if he’s not outcome dependent then there can be no rejection. You see?

Noun
Rejection - the act of rejecting something; “his proposals were met with rejection”

If he has yet to decided whether she’s met his expectations or ticked enough boxes for him to ask her out or for her number, or offers his then that means he is going in to “set,” without any chance of rejection. Only once he has decided she is worthy enough to take his number (or ask for hers,) does he enter the point when rejection could happen. But to be honest by this point in encounter, if she has told him so much about herself, and providing he has remained in high status throughout the interaction, the chances of rejection are slim to none.

When he spots his target, what should not be going on in his head, is the following:
“Wow she fit, now, lets see, what can I do? I hope she likes me, I need to get this girls number, she’s so sexy, I hope I don’t screw this one up.”
This will immediately put him in a low status frame of mind, it will put pressure on the situation because he has become so “outcome dependent” and he might even build her up so much that he will not go through with it after all….he may completely chicken out!
Non-PUAs spot an gorgeous woman, and make up their mind there and then that they want to bed her, regardless of whether she’s a bitch or she smokes or she’s boring. This will automatically make him approach the target at a lower status and be totally fixated on the outcome, so much so that he will give up all his principles and let her trample on his pride so he can get her to bed, this is not how a PUA should behave.

What should be going on in his mind at this stage?
“She’s FIT, yeah at least an 8, but what else does she have to offer me? I’m going to have myself a little talk with this girl and see if she is funny, nice, caring” or whatever his tick boxes require. This will immediately put him in high status, his body language will become more alpha male, he will keep his principles and pride intact, and since he’s not outcome dependent, it will free him from any pressure he might have had otherwise. This is how a PUA should behave.

So remember: pre-approach frame of mind is more important than the opening line as is also the reaction/response to here response/reaction.
I will leave you with 2 conversations, one resulting with a tried and tested great opener and the other with a dull opener, each resulting differently NOT because of the material in the opener but with what comes after it’s delivered.

Jack: “Yo, yo, yo! You look like a fairly stylish girl, I was wondering if I could get your opinion on something”
Hb: “Sure”
Jack: “The thing is, its my friend Stacy;’s birthday next week, and she kinda has your physique and coloring and I was wondering if you could suggest a knock me dead outfit that I could get her?”
Hb: “Sure- em, what’s your budget”
Jack: “£300”
Hb: “Ok, then I would say a corset, if she has my body then a corset would suit her”
Jack: “A corset, cool”
Hb: “Yep”
Jack: “Cool, erm, what color”
Hb: “Hmm well if she’s got my coloring then I would say purple or maybe black”
Jack: “Purple or black? Cool- do you think she’d like that”
Hb: “Er, well I guess, which girl wouldn’t like an item of clothing for £300”
Jack: “Cool, yeah your probably right. So who are you here with tonight?”
So many hooks, so many avenues, great opener….but what an anti climax right?
After the opening, as good as it was, comes the point where she is reminded she is talking to a total stranger, what happens next? Barriers go up, and everything else after that becomes un natural and desperate.
Lets look at this one.
Jack: “Hey, great music here tonight”
Hb: “Tis Alright”
Jack: “Ha- ha- if I was in a club where I thought the music was just ok – I would leave”
Hb: “Really?”
Jack: “For sure, why would someone stick around if the music was crap?”
Hb: “ I never said it was crap”
Jack: “Yeah, but you never said it was great either”
Hb: “Well, it’s alright I guess”
Jack: “See there you go again- back to that boring word ok, you should try being more adventurous in your choice of words”
Hb: “ Like what exactly?”
Jack: “Like, I think the music here is weak, or its plain or monotonous, pick one!”
Hb: “Ok, it’s monotonous”
Jack: “That’s true it is a bit, I guess you must hate rap, that can be monotonous”
Hb: “No, I like rap and hip hop”
Jack: “You don’t strike me as a ghetto girl”
Hb: “I’m not really, I like lots of different types of music” (laughs)
Jack: “Too late darling- tonight I’m going to know you as Ghetto Queen”
This shows how a boring opener with a non-responsive girl can be more effective if done correctly than a great opener with a responsive girl!

Kezia

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